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Most mentees understand they have a need to be mentored, they want to give all it takes to grow and become better. They make several moves to get connected to the intending mentor without success and yet with same moves are able to get some other leaders to mentor them. How really should I get a mentor? What should I give up? What should I put aside. The mentee dilemma.
1. The strength dilemma
: Everyone has a strength including an intending mentee. Some mentors feel insecured about the strength of an intending mentee or deem it as lack of submission, others would love a mentee to come on board with his strength as he learns to sharpen it. Show up as not having a strength, you get rejected as they perceived you a burden. So the intending mentee is faced with a dilemma, should I show or hide my strength?
Related: Why you need a mentor as a startup
2. The submission dilemma:
In as well as you might not learn much from someone you find it hard to submit to, however, mentees are faced with the dilemma of to what extent should they submit. Must the teachings of the mentor be swallowed hook line and sinker with evaluation and questioning? Do the mentees have a right to air their opinion without been treated less or appearing like a maverick?
3. The Freedom Dilemma:
Everyone has a goal, a mentor has one likewise a mentee. To what extent should a mentee surrender his goals in a desire to be mentored. No doubt one will get the more when one shows a willingness to add value and pursue his mentor’s goals. However, to what extent especially when the 2 goals are different. Does he has a right of freedom to achieve his own goal along side that of the mentor? Or he must sacrifice 100% or risk losing the mentorship.
Related: How to choose a good mentor
4. The exchange Dilemma:
Humans are selfish by nature. The earlier you accept this the easier it becomes for you to work with people. Some mentees risk not been mentored for the simple thought of not having anything to offer. Or the feeling that what they have to offer in exchange isn’t needed.
5. The goodbye Dilemma:
It’s not new that mentors saying goodbye to a mentee can be very difficult, especially mentees that have become a strategic pillar in the organization. In some cases the mentee breaks away or if things go well, the mentee trains his replacement before leaving. Either way, the mentee has to leave to pursue his own goals in greater ways. The mentor is faced with this goodbye Dilemma especially when the goodbye was not prepared for. Likewise the mentee. A lot of factors can contribute to a goodbye. However, every mentee is faced with the question of how and when should I say goodbye?
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